Self bashing is useless – 2 easy steps to release resistance and get back into the flow

Self bashing is useless – 2 easy steps to release resistance and get back into the flow

I often hear from people that it seems like I ‘do so much!’, create so much, and get so much done.
And it’s true, in a way, but not because I’m necessarily the most consistent.
Not because I’m productive every day.
It’s simply because I’ve learned to ride the wave and maximize my genius, no matter if I’m feeling creative, happy and powerful – or sad, vulnerable and in need of rest.

Today, for example, has been a totally ‘off’ day. I feel fuzzy and unclear, I’ve checked some easy things off my to do-list, but the bigger creative projects? Nothing much happening there. As eventful as a rainy summer’s day in the north of Sweden.

Last week I had my first webinar, with 191 women from all over the world, and I felt high as a kite.

The creative blast leading up to the webinar had been pretty full on for about two weeks, and the energetic discharge (“Yay! I did it!”) of it finally ‘happening’ left me belly down on the ground again.

A sweet aftermath. Enjoyable in its chilled out stillness. And also slower and a lot less productive. 

I had somehow imagined that I’d “just keep on going”, but instead, the last few days I’ve spent reading, walking, making love, watching movies, hanging out with friends, catching up on inspirational stuff from other teachers…

… and being pretty much unable to get anything pro-active done.

I could beat myself up about this. Could give permission to the “you’re not doing it right” BS voice.

Could buy into the lie about how as a creative entrepreneur I should be super productive every day.

But the truth is that that’s not how I am, that’s not how I’m wired, and it certainly isn’t how I flow when just given permission to be or do whatever feels best and most natural in the moment.

So what is my point with this whole rant?

Well, it’s basically just a confirmation of what I said in the training last week:

Feminine consistency is a myth.

We’re not the same every day, and neither should we strive to be.

Sure, there are some women who can just go-go-go everyday (Aries ladies, do you hear me? ;) … but for most of us: life moves up and down and in cycles.

And that – is beautiful!

After a great build up of energy and then the explosive fireworks of the peak of the creative cycle, it is NATURAL to feel the need to retreat, take score, reflect, rest and rejuvenate.

And when who DON’T allow ourselves to do that?… Hello burnout, hello self-bashing, hiya nasty cortisol stress spike.

So the message from me to you, this Monday, is to just accept whatever state you’re in.

If you feel inspired, on track and in the zone – great!

If you’re feeling emotional, vulnerable and a bit shaky – great!

It’s not in the emotion itself – but in the resistance to feeling it fully – that the suffering is created.

Self bashing is useless. Do this instead, to get back in the flow:

Step 1: be OK with whatever is present for you NOW.

As my friend Marco said yesterday: if you feel like there’s a problem – at least try and not have a problem with having a problem.

Releasing resistance = massive relief.

Step 2: chill out, get inspired, receive, rejuvenate… and watch your state shift.

Full permission. To just. Be.

Also: the thoughts aren’t you. The emotions aren’t who you are.

They’re simply whatever your human interface happens to be experiencing at this moment.

The ironic thing is: that when we stop trying to change how we feel, and just feel OK with whatever is present… that’s when the stickiness tends to magically dissolve, resistance fades, and inspiration flows forth like a warm river.

I wish you a beautiful day. If this touched you in any way, please leave a comment down below.

Much love,

Ronja Sebastian
A note before leaving: All of this said – there are some ways to make productivity a whole lot more EASY.

If you want to learn my 8 Keys to Effortless Productivity, there’s a new chance this coming Saturday. And if you can’t make it live, then sign up anyway and you’ll be sent the replay.

This free training is packed full of creativity boosters, productivity hacks and smart secrets to running a business in your feminine.

Comments like these have flooded my inbox since the last webinar:


√ How to activate your internal happiness hormones (kind of like inner MDMA ;)

√ How to get from chaos to clarity and out of your head and into action

√ The crucial key to inspired action, without which no amount of ‘trying’ will get you there

√ Productivity hacks that’ll get you creating more, faster, and with more ease

√ The #1 Mistake even smart and successful women make in business

√ The little known secret to running a business in your feminine – or in other words, being a business woman while still feeling energized, alive and in the mood for making love…

All so that you can make more money and have a bigger impact, doing what you love – and LOVE the process of doing it!

Plus a sneak peak into my upcoming online course, some cool giveaways, and who knows what else?…

C’mon gorgeous, join the virtual hangout…

8 Yogini Approved Keys To Effortless Productivity (FREE Webinar)

I’ll see you in the training! (And yes, it’s totally for free.)

Register at: 

Let’s rock this.






  1. Judy July 20, 2015 at 5:59 pm - Reply

    Thank you so much Ronja for sharing this. Great reminder! Great to read and sink into more and more… <3

  2. Krista July 20, 2015 at 7:46 pm - Reply

    Supercool Ronja, spot on and so needed in the world!

    I wonder how you deal with “deadlines” and things that MUST get done, like taxes lol.

    Much love <3

    • Ronja Sebastian July 21, 2015 at 11:12 am - Reply

      Thanks Krista!

      Fun deadlines tend to always be met, because there’s a lot of excitement and momentum, and when you have a clear action plan it becomes even more easy breezy.

      With taxes and stuff… haha yes, I know. There it really helps as well, to break it down into smaller action steps.
      “Do my taxes” is actually not an action steps but more like a project headline. Action steps would be more like “Gather all invoices from 2014”, “Make a list of travel dates for last year” etc.
      It also helps to first write down the ‘Massively Successful Outcome’ = how it feels to have completed it, and how everything flowed so smoothly – even before you begin.


  3. Roald July 21, 2015 at 11:10 am - Reply

    Hi Ronja,
    As a man I just want to add that it’s also great for us -and our feminine sides- to be reminded of this. As men we also need to give ourselves permission to have off-days, to rest and rejuvenate.

    My life would be very stiff and un-juicy otherwise.
    Great writing, lots of love to you!
    Roald recently posted..Pilgrimage into the Alps

    • Ronja Sebastian July 21, 2015 at 11:14 am - Reply

      Thank you Roald! And yes, totally. Some men are more like Tony Robbins and thrive on the constant action-no-matter-what style of living. (Until they crash one day perhaps?) But for others… better to honor your nature.

      I’m also reminded of what a friend said some time ago: take small steps when you’re feeling small, when big steps when you’re feeling brave.

      xx R

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