The Masculine & Feminine Way of Awakening – by Toby Sebastian

The Masculine & Feminine Way of Awakening – by Toby Sebastian

This week’s blog is by my fiance, Toby Sebastian.

A few days ago we were having one of our many midnight conversations… I had the impulse to record it on my phone. (I’m very glad that I did! :)

The result became an unusual and remarkably clear discourse on the Masculine and Feminine Way of Awakening, and where even the most conscious of us get stuck halfway

Click play to find out more:


With many thanks to BBC worldwide, PVPlabeltv, and Diwan Videos
for the beautiful footage of Planet Earth.

When emptiness and fullness meet, this is the true way of non-duality. This meeting will expose the last layers in the body and mind of where the ‘me’ identity is believed.

This ‘me’, seemingly separate from life, is a contraction in the body and mind; a limitation. It is not true.

This sense of identity can dissolve, and without it the body can open and the mind surrender.

The whole existence opens into a totality.

All of life is happening as one… and you become this; freedom, life itself…


If this touched you in any way, feel welcome to leave a comment below.



Toby Sebastian

Ronja & Toby Sebastian by Bibbie Friman


P.S. Ronja I are hosting a workshop this weekend  in Utrecht:

Embodied Enlightenment – with Toby & Ronja Sebastian

15 November at Yoga Point

This workshop will be a new way of Satsang, where the freedom and bliss of your true nature will be released in a dynamic process:

Qigong practices to open and increase the flow in body, heart and mind

Shaking and Dance to awaken repressed energy and celebrate

Breathing and Catharsis for emotional release and uncensored expression

Meditation and Enquiry to direct the attention into seeing…

All until the heart is resting in the infinite…


And while we can’t guarantee Enlightenment in one weekend ;) we can guarantee that this has come to you with perfect timing and as the perfect catalyst for whatever you need right now.


If you have dreams, visions and longings, but you’re held back by fears, insecurities or limiting beliefs – then you need to be at this workshop.

Life can be so amazing, and most often, the only one stopping us is ourselves.

Imagine what it would be like to live without any limitations…

Click here to read more and sign up.


Toby & Ronja


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  1. Iris November 12, 2014 at 11:55 am - Reply

    Dear Toby,

    thank you for this wonderful video! Watching it I finally felt like someone was talking to and understanding a lot of the processes and questions I’ve been going through in my spiritual quest during the past few months.Funnily enough I feel like I’ve been going through a ‘masculine’ awakening process although I am a woman.

    One thing I’ve found particularly difficult is how to keep on living in the normal high-ego Dutch world having finally seen a glimpse of non-duality. It seems to me as if the world will eat you alive when you let go of your ego and dualities. I notice around me that people want opinions and debates, fighting against things people, corporations etc etc that are good or bad. Is allowing yourself to be part of this game and not judging yourself the answer? Or is the only way to have peace with your enlightenment by exiting environments dominated by this mind-frame?

    Maybe the kind of question that could appear when you’ve only had half of the enlightenment process, or maybe I’m not even really there, but I’d like to hear your take on it nevertheless.

    Thank you!

  2. Toby Sebastian November 12, 2014 at 4:16 pm - Reply

    It is lovely to hear from you.

    When I speak of the masculine and feminine in awakening, I refer to the two phases of the total enlightenment process that is entirely beyond gender.

    One of the aspects that I would attribute to the feminine phase of awakening is the relinquishment of fear in the body, and opening of the heart. This can never however get very far when we believe there is a self (‘me’); as fundamentally we act to protect the appearance of this false identity.

    These protection=fear programs are of the mind, and also a habit/imprint in the body. Once the masculine awakening reveals the total absence of the self to the mind, there is no longer any reason to protect what isn’t there!

    And so the body can now really release this fear, and integrate the awakening; EMBODY. The life circumstances will offer opportunities to let go again, and again, and again (like our workshop ;)).

    Questions relating to the specific life experience are not answerable, because there are no answers, nor any rules!

    Life goes the way it will…



  3. Kersti Afrodite November 13, 2014 at 11:39 am - Reply

    Thank you Toby for finding such clear words to describe the indescribable.
    I have travelled (and still am!) like this – first lots of self-inquiry through Byron Katie’s The Work – and then the body, the sisterhood, the releases through the physical, and tantra.
    It is so wonderful, thanks to your video, this *pang* of sudden understanding what has actually happened – first masculine and then feminine awakening. It embodies all of my experiences even more. And I keep travelling.
    Deep gratitude to you, namaste X

  4. Paul Lloyd November 26, 2014 at 4:43 pm - Reply

    The process of awakening seems full of contradictions — is it about emptiness or the expansion of love? Is it a moment or a gradual process? There are a lot of unanswered questions, probably as there have been few Western writers able to eloquently describe what spiritual growth REALLY feels like.
    This video is a really beautiful vision. I do not think it has to be absolutely true as described here (Toby’s perspective) — but this certainly helps clarify a process that is happening — expansion and connection of the heart OUT into the world that deepens over time AND something else happening in our awareness to do with silence/emptiness.
    Words are clumsy when it comes to conveying abstract ideas…

    In the 1960s Maharishi Mahesh Yogi gave a talk *The 7 States of Consciousness* which he talked of the 3 higher/awakened states in terms of *Cosmic Consciousness* (emptiness/witnessing) and *God Consciousness* (expansion of the heart//love) with BOTH together leading to Unity Consciousness.
    These seem to be equivalent (Cosmic Consciousness = Masculine Awakening and God Consciousness = Feminine Awakening) except Maharishis talk was quite abstract and perhaps not so easily understood.
    So this is nothing new or unique I think — but it is a very beautiful dialogue that both makes sense and feels authentic.
    Thank-you for sharing <3

  5. Juuth November 27, 2014 at 9:09 am - Reply

    Beautiful recording, thank you both for sharing.

    Will you loves be bringing your workshop to Koh Pha Ngan?
    Juuth recently posted..Chai Banana Smoothie

  6. March 22, 2017 at 9:52 am - Reply

    What a great tutorial! I hope I am able to do a couple pairs of earrings – it’s still fall and would be okay to wear. I love the way you got the shading with the skinner blend.

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